Nichole Knack is a twenty two year old mousy girl with a bad stutter. She was born and raised in California, and is anything but the typical popular Surfer Gal. Her friends consist of the co-workers at her family's Hollywood bar, tiDDy's Tavern. That is, until Brandy enters her life with a focus on getting her into the Super Bowl of Wet T-Shirt contests known as the GalaPanic. However, Nichole's small breasted upturned coat hooks are a long shot to win the competition, but if Grandma Gamms can teach her the Knack Attack, she might be able to gain a bestie, land a hottie, save Gamm's saloon, all the while putting to rest the shameful legacy her mother Gretta Jr. bestowed upon the Knack family.

Brandy is a thirty year old sun drenched Cal Gal. She embodies every typical trait of the Californian hottie including a checkered past in Porn Valley. But Brandy has no interest in competing in the GalaPanic, although her luscious gum drops would definitely give the other gals a run for their money, instead Brandy is interested in being an agent of sorts to the Wet-T'ers and she's set her sights on Nichole. If she can get her the right training, she believes Nichole can win the GalaPanic and be the most famous gal in sports history.

April is a twenty two year old smoking hot blond with double D blimps that are sure to dominate the competition. April is so conceited, she is convinced, and as annoying as that is, she is physically perfect and sure to win the 50th GalaPanic. However, April suspects her ex-girlfriend, Brandy is hell bent on finding a competitor to beat her. So April has a secret up her sleeve, a move that could produce a competition wardrobe malfunction, the likes that would put any Halftime show to shame and garner her an insanely lucrative contract with Girls Going Crazy.

Gamms is the swinging fifty four year old grandmother to Nichole Knack. She raised the little girl when her daughter, Gretta Knack Jr. abandoned the child to turn to a seedy life of sex and drugs with a Rock and Roller. Gamms makes no apologies for her age; she doesn't bother to dye her graying hair, and gravity being what it is, her large peepers aren't what they used to be. But in their glory days, Gamms used her peepers to win the 20th GalaPanic with a shirt shredding move internationally known as the Knack Attack. Since then she has been running the family bar, tiDDY's Tavern with her husband, Tiddy. However, Tiddy's son has managed to shutter the bar with designs on demolishing it to build a 2,300 acre Christian theme park dubbed, Holy Wood, USA. Gamms is now in a fight to save her family legacy.

Gretta Knack Jr is a thirty eight year old worn out bar wench. Growing up, she was just an average mediocre gal with a set of oddly shaped rockets protruding from her chest. Gretta Jr. is the kind of gal who would have done fine in life but probably never achieved stardom. However when you live under the shadow of your mother's famous knockers, fine is not enough. Gretta Jr. always had an insatiable thirst for validation from others. She competed in the 35th GalaPanic and tried desperately to do the Knack Attack. When it was apparent she couldn't, out of desperation she used her hands to rip open the shirt exposing pink and resulting in an automatic disqualification. The phrase ReGretta the day was coined and forever brought shame to the Knack family. Sinking to a new low she embraced drugs and ultimately starred in a celebrity sex tape with a well known rocker. This launched her career as a porn star where she could be adored by fans the way she always felt she should be. Of course this left no time to rear a child and so she Dumped her daughter, Nichole, on to her mother, Gamms and her husband, Tiddy to raise.

Svetlana is a thirty year old Swedish waitress at tiDDy's Tavern. She has prominent banana-shaped cannons that she tops with silicone peaks made for crossdressers to ensure her tips are always on point. Svetlana has a thick sexy accent that she lays on heavy to entice would be suitors. She enjoys the fruits of American life and is often a swinging third or fourth partner in Gamms and Tiddy's playdates.

Jade has smooth olive skin and long silky hair that make it hard to ascertain her age, but her full cans filling the thick Staff tiDDy's waitress shirt, indicate that she's way older than her teenage appearance. In fact, nearly thirty years older. At forty, Jade is the best friend and confidant of Gamms. She is also the connection to Svetlana and thus, often the third or fourth in Gamms' swinging parties. Jade's only shortcoming is the off-putting screech of her voice. She carries the tone of a rapid fire Chinese elder.

Florence is very old, except for a few bolted on plastic parts. She was bred straight out of California farmland and has secured a pair of juGGs that is sure to win the GalaPanic. If the other Gals don't look out, they could lose to this geezer in a surprising upset.

Naomi is a statuesque model rocking a perfect set of Bolders. She has a passion for little people and BIG guns.

Amy delights the crowd with a flaunt of her chest testicles known as Chesticles. Tennis balls in tube socks have never looked so good.

Jennifer rocks a lovely stash of Chestnut niblets that you'll surely want to squirrel away.

Rachel spoons up her flap jacks to a hungry crowd waiting to butter them up.

Heidi Kloss has a set of lustrous size-F watermelons that are out of this world. She is a Former Astronaut, Film Actress, Eastern Soviet Freedom Fighter, Dog Groomer, and Runway Supermodel.

Gisele Macpherson's plump tiDDy's make her the poster child of the GalaPanic and the perfect judge of the competition. She has a well rounded background in the field of beauty as an Aesthetic Physicist, World Renown Bandito, Kazakhstan Diving Expert, and Former President.

Deanna has a lovely set of peaches ready for a bite. When she isn't competing she is writing international Best Sellers under secret pseudonyms.